Barbenheimer vs Bradsellhammer

 

Christopher Nolan’s first feature film “Following” featured Richard Arthur Bradsell (4 May 1959 – 27 February 2016) who was a British barman noted for his innovative work with cocktails, including the creation of many new drinks now considered to be modern classics e.g Espresso Martini, the Bramble, the Wible etc …

He was also a lovely friend … and to almost everybody … often with the charmingly menacing caveat: “Please don’t make me NOT like you”

 He did not suffer fools, and in this clip he displays his deft technique for dealing with them

 

Hello Hello Hell Lo

 

Hello The People … no no no … hello to you personally, you who are reading these words written from a room not so very very far from yours … written with the tenacity that they might reach you

 We have contact

 Why?

 My aim has always been to entertain you, if nothing else, and more often than not nothing else

 Tonight I saw this product and it wrought a tiny tear that did’th shed itself upon my world wide weary eye

 If we value ourselves using numbers we are at the mercy of numbers

 I don’t consider myself a failure for being loved by only one person

But then I was never good at maths

 

 

Chicken Don Quixote

The Sound Of Christmas

Here it is I’ve made a Mixtape to END all Mixtapes for Christmas

There’s loads of music and hundreds of guests including Winona Ryder, The Beatles, Hitler, Charles Manson, fun for all the family, there’s even a bit of James Stewart

 

 

Don Quixote Rubbish

The Rubbishmen of Soho London Victorian Punk Revivalist art duo, Robert Rubbish and yours truly struggled, along with Orson Welles, Terry Gilliam and countless others to adapt Cervantes’ Don Quixote to fit on a screen

Fraught with disasters it was fun while it lasted

I am reviving the project in another form and dimension and here is a tiny scene from it

Yuletide Delirium Tremens

 

Hello my dears I took a left turn on the Misinformation Highway and got lost in the WWWilderness searching for buried treasures to gift you during this funny old season. I may have struck gold but it feels more like a shovel blow to the head

You may notice that I have 16 items in my basket in these photos. I swear I didn’t put them there

I hope there is something here to entertain, or it may leave you just as bewildered as I am. None of the insanity and weirdness that follows was produced by AI 

So

First up is baby wear. I didn’t press the video button as my nerves are not as robust as they once might have been

 

 

 The above might strike a chord spanning an octave for Blogger Tony 

https://boredinarecordshop.wordpress.com

 

 

Apparatus for cat suspension, herding, humiliating and the like

 

 

 

For that Snow White appearance at one’s Après Ski look no further than this latex painty skin glove for that graveyard tan

 

 

 

 

On Boxing Day after your Cuffed One has left you to salvage what is left of your compassion and self-dignity, what better gift to reward yourself than with a pair of these to skulk about in across the apocalyptic kitchen floor?

 

 

 

 

I lied, I think this must be a lie, it’s AI, yes Eye know oh shut up

 

 

But WTF?

 

 

 

 

No, no, no more tears, use Cheese & Onion Flavoured Crisps instead of this for that extra sheen and it smells more cheesy and slightly less oniony

 

 

 

 

This batshit crazy flying singing Satan mouse thing has more than 1 infuriating mode, wahoo

 

 

 

 

We didn’t like the eyelashes did we? Come on I’m sure you didn’t like the eyelashes but compared to these? If you remember Thunderbirds or the band Oasis you might not see anything

 

 

 

 

Now this may not be WOKE, PC or even TRUE but who cares anymore, I’m in too far now to ever find my way back to a specialist

PS: Notice there are no mystical numbers on the measure

 

 

 

 

As for this next one … I just don’t know what I’m looking at. Is it to keep the Red Onion Scouring Soup off the eyelashes?

 

 

 

 

Children, Babies and Dwarfs are getting some overdue attention here as we arrive at this. Discard baby after use? Surely this product would result in unpleasantness, possibly some upset, and definitely a lot of drowning

 

 

 

 

And yet another way to mop the Christmas kitchen floor

 

 

 

 

Who doesn’t want an optic in their Persons Cave?

This is mental

 

 

 

 

We are all sometimes in need of this next thing

 

 

 

 

This section of images has left me scared of looking under the bed or going to the bathroom at night without a machete

 

 

 

 

I believe these are collectible but not compulsory

 

 

 

 

Eh, why? I am textless

 

 

 

 

Just WRONG

 

 

 

 

OK Enough of this horror. How about rejoining those allegedly Short People.

They just need cat vitamins

 

 

 

 

Disappointed with living any longer? If we can’t grow taller we may as well simply grow younger by using AI, photoshop and making shit up just like the rubber head babies do

 

 

 

 

A quick and earnest disclaimer. I am keen to point out that I have no association with these products and do not recommend a single fucking one of them. I receive no financial, psychological or sexual benefit from advertising these frightening examples of fear and loathing in a material world floating insanely on the meniscus of self annihilation. With that said …

 

 

Happy Christmas One & AI xx

 

 

 

Sayonara Beautiful Shane

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hip Hop Harp?

This instrument may have gained something in translation

 

Bless You Russell Norman

 

Pioneering restaurateur Russell Norman dies aged 57 following cardiac arrest

He was a beautiful, brilliant and extraordinarily generous human being

Love to his wife and the kids and the millions of us lucky buggers he made happy

 

I chose this preposterous image of a current product on AliExpress to express the sense of helplessness and absurdity accepting that he is no longer here. Thank you Russell, you made an everlasting positive difference to my life, and I forgive you 

T

 

I Don’t Normally Do This But

I saw this MeMe and felt compelled to repost it

 

Don Campbell, whoever the fuck you are, thanks

 

Shootmeme why don’t cha?

 And now for something completely different

Forrest Trump