Sebastian Horsley At Foyles

Ignore the opening few minutes and the my drunken Camera. This is an unedited experience. Not much of him exists.


Time For Insomnia

Some nights, especially when its hot, I can’t sleep. So, I pick up an iPad, no no not that, and I start trawling through ebay without any intention to buy anything, I simply gaze in bewilderment. I do this sometimes for hours until I am hypnotised by the sheer vastness of it. So much stuff, and all of it destined for landfill. How awful, how does that help me sleep? I am not certain but just thinking about each item for a few seconds and pondering why it exists slowly wears down my mind and I slip into a coma, just like watching the news with the sound off.

So then, here for you delectation is another small selection of soporific books and Cd’s that have stood out for their dizzying powers as part of my sleep aid.


Don’t forget your toothbrush, 

bible, mosquito net, blunderbuss


  Looking at those trees behind him I think he should start to worry a lot 
  about ecology 



 Toff Gun?

A season to discover and kill? This is an example of why the English are loved 

and vehemently hated


  This CD title is one of the worst puns since … Toff Gun
 What on earth is going on here?



Cut out the middleman and toss this compacted pulp straight back on the compost


 For some reason this makes feel rather sad. Has the father died. Is it he, Ben Hatch, taking the picture? Or, is the mother, Dinah Hatch, now with a woman who is taking the picture? Is it just a professional set up, are they all actors set against a Green Screen in a sterile studio? 
 There’s too much to think about and I’m getting woozy. Whatever it is I can’t look at it without a sinking sense of melancholy

This is more of the same. 
 This one makes me blissfully aware that I have no children. I’d rather be dead than wear those clothes. Looking at that chap’s expression I’d suggest he’s thinking the same




This looks to me like pure filth
 Shame on you Keith Waterhouse (Dead writer & Soho Soak)


 50 Shades of wrong here. What on earth is this picture trying to convey? Perhaps that she is hundreds of miles away from a television and wishes to discover one nearby to study? Is she in an amature dramatic group adaptation of Nicolas Roeg’s film Walkabout? No, it is of course just a typical gratuitous shot. Given the book’s subject, and that it comes from the BFI, you’d think they’d be fully aware that this cover image is ridiculously irrelevant

 Nighty night sleep tight











100 Things I Love (Part 7)

31. I love it when people smile. I automatically smile back as if it were a volley in ping pong. Frowns don’t work the same, I don’t automatically return one, I drop the bat.Bat.jpg


32. I love time. It changes everything. 



 33. I love change. Repetition can be vital but it can also anaesthetize the senses. I can’t walk the same path twice without forcing myself to look at it differently: “Look at that lamp post” “Wow things are floating in the gutter” “Now I’m Lost” GOOD.

Repetition_.jpg No let’s not do that

 34. I love having the courage of my convictions … er … when I do. ‘Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others,’ Winston Churchill. 


He’s no chicken he’s a cock

  35. I love uncertainty. Certainty is over rated. Certainty can never be trusted. Uncertainty keeps us curious and flexible. Beware of the person that is Certain, they are a closed book. I may have been sure once or twice in my life but never certain. 

Certain.jpgFergusonValues fuck you and good day Sir





100 Things I Love (Part5)

21. I love waking up as the sun rises, usually around dawn. My mind is always filled with ideas for songs, poems, film scripts, a cure for cancer, then I drift back to sleep and all is forgotten.



 Well, it depends on that dream doesn’t it 


22. I love not having to work anymore: “The problem with not doing anything is you never get to take time off.” – Sebastian Horsley. 


Count how much money you have in your pocket then calculate the chances of living long enough to spend it.

23. I love Sebastian Horsley. He was such a dear friend and like all my dear friends I lose them. I hope not carelessly. 


24. I love going to other town bars a few miles away. The anonymity is thrilling. It is like a cloak of invisibility. I can sit alone in public, my name is not shouted at me. I am reborn nameless. I could try flip flops.


Do voyeurs like to be watched?



25. I love listening to film soundtracks on earbuds. The world is transformed. Crossing a road can become portentous, silly, ecstatic, deadly, pointless, but it is never just crossing the road.




“I’m using the chicken measure it”