Country Ways

I watched stupefied as this lovely man ingeniously sculpted a tree branch into a wooden stick shape. I went on a long mountainous excursion with him and a few bottles of wine. Why don't mountain climbers take more booze? It livens up inclines of even the tiniest gradient. Imagine the thrill of a sheer cliff face and a bottle of vodka.

 

Drink your way to the bottom and reach the top

 

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A Great Big Scary Helping Hand

The Thing is, things can be good. People can be good … obviously, sometimes quite easily. A barman found an orphaned baby bird. So he made a house for it out of an old sherry box.

I've watched him feeding it with great tenderness for the last 2 weeks. He seems devoted to preserving the life of this scrappy little thing he calls Pepito (Whilst Pepito is the diminutive of the name Pepe, it's also the name for a meat sandwich). Pepito had just been given a bath in a saucer of water before I walked in.

 

Lovely Thing

Yesterday I went up to see the ruin of a house that I have just bought. The soul resident is a potted blood red geranium burning bright against the stone wall. A flower had broken off. I considered putting it in my handkerchief pocket then changed my mind. It might bleed. So I put it in my hat, and forgot about it.

I walked into a bar. The familiar old men cheered me up to the counter, exchanging curious glances with me and each other, then one blurted it out: “Nice flower!” They all caved in laughing. I imitated a Flamenco dance move, badly, which stirred them up further. After several drinks one of them asked which of the two colours of tissue table napkins I preferred? An odd question? Perhaps some kind of sexual entrapment? “Both” I replied, adding “I like both of those colours of paper.” Seemingly contented with the answer he sat down and fashioned this with great care.