100 Things I Love (Part8)

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Amateur Drinker Night

I wish you all a lovely shiney 2018. The end of 2017 will not sadden my heart. T’was a year of much global tomfoolery.

There is hope and it awaits our love, attention and gentle actions. Be merry my freinds be merry. 

100 Things I Love (Part 7)

31. I love it when people smile. I automatically smile back as if it were a volley in ping pong. Frowns don’t work the same, I don’t automatically return one, I drop the bat.Bat.jpg


32. I love time. It changes everything. 



 33. I love change. Repetition can be vital but it can also anaesthetize the senses. I can’t walk the same path twice without forcing myself to look at it differently: “Look at that lamp post” “Wow things are floating in the gutter” “Now I’m Lost” GOOD.

Repetition_.jpg No let’s not do that

 34. I love having the courage of my convictions … er … when I do. ‘Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others,’ Winston Churchill. 


He’s no chicken he’s a cock

  35. I love uncertainty. Certainty is over rated. Certainty can never be trusted. Uncertainty keeps us curious and flexible. Beware of the person that is Certain, they are a closed book. I may have been sure once or twice in my life but never certain. 

Certain.jpgFergusonValues fuck you and good day Sir





100 Things I Love (Part 6)


26. I love not having or owning children.


It was a choice I made early. The world doesn’t need another Half Of ME. 


Oddly, people always asume it was a choice and not the consequence of something else. 


Do what?

I have never been asked about my fertility. I’ll never know the answer.


So, I’m only responsible for myself and everything I say and do to the entire world.

27. I love shopping alphabetically. Food shopping can get dull.


So this week I am only buying things that start with the letter A.


You can lose weight on some letters. 

I also do it by packaging. Next week only tins, mnnn. 


Tins! Yes!


Oh Jesus

28. I love having my head scratched. 


Fingernails comb my brain stems into flowing streams of enlightened consciousness. 


I think pets are onto something.



29. I love Custard. Not to eat, you crazy fools. I like playing with it. You get a bowl of the powder then add small amounts of water until is a very thick mud. Then you scoop some out and squeeze it. It magically turns into a solid. Then as you let it go it returns to a liquid, you can have hours of stoner fun.


Try it in wanky restaurants. 

30. I love looking for things to put in the Trash on my computer.


After a good forage I hit the empty Trash button and I feel as if I have lifted a small burden from the world’s digital shoulders.


Despite billions of dollars being spent to create English language versions of computer operating shitstems we still have American Trash instead of English Rubbish. 


Shovel this down your gullet you plonker