Amateur Drinker Night

I wish you all a lovely shiney 2018. The end of 2017 will not sadden my heart. T’was a year of much global tomfoolery.

There is hope and it awaits our love, attention and gentle actions. Be merry my freinds be merry. 

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100 Things I Love (Part 7)

31. I love it when people smile. I automatically smile back as if it were a volley in ping pong. Frowns don’t work the same, I don’t automatically return one, I drop the bat.Bat.jpg

 

32. I love time. It changes everything. 

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 33. I love change. Repetition can be vital but it can also anaesthetize the senses. I can’t walk the same path twice without forcing myself to look at it differently: “Look at that lamp post” “Wow things are floating in the gutter” “Now I’m Lost” GOOD.

Repetition_.jpg No let’s not do that

 34. I love having the courage of my convictions … er … when I do. ‘Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others,’ Winston Churchill. 

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He’s no chicken he’s a cock

 
  35. I love uncertainty. Certainty is over rated. Certainty can never be trusted. Uncertainty keeps us curious and flexible. Beware of the person that is Certain, they are a closed book. I may have been sure once or twice in my life but never certain. 

Certain.jpgFergusonValues fuck you and good day Sir

 
 

 

 

 

100 Things I Love (Part 6)

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26. I love not having or owning children.

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It was a choice I made early. The world doesn’t need another Half Of ME. 

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Oddly, people always asume it was a choice and not the consequence of something else. 

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Do what?


I have never been asked about my fertility. I’ll never know the answer.

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So, I’m only responsible for myself and everything I say and do to the entire world.


27. I love shopping alphabetically. Food shopping can get dull.

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So this week I am only buying things that start with the letter A.

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You can lose weight on some letters. 


I also do it by packaging. Next week only tins, mnnn. 

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Tins! Yes!


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Oh Jesus


28. I love having my head scratched. 

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Fingernails comb my brain stems into flowing streams of enlightened consciousness. 

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I think pets are onto something.


 
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Don’t


29. I love Custard. Not to eat, you crazy fools. I like playing with it. You get a bowl of the powder then add small amounts of water until is a very thick mud. Then you scoop some out and squeeze it. It magically turns into a solid. Then as you let it go it returns to a liquid, you can have hours of stoner fun.

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Try it in wanky restaurants. 


30. I love looking for things to put in the Trash on my computer.

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After a good forage I hit the empty Trash button and I feel as if I have lifted a small burden from the world’s digital shoulders.

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Despite billions of dollars being spent to create English language versions of computer operating shitstems we still have American Trash instead of English Rubbish. 

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Shovel this down your gullet you plonker

100 Things I Love (Part5)

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21. I love waking up as the sun rises, usually around dawn. My mind is always filled with ideas for songs, poems, film scripts, a cure for cancer, then I drift back to sleep and all is forgotten.

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 Well, it depends on that dream doesn’t it 

Donald?


22. I love not having to work anymore: “The problem with not doing anything is you never get to take time off.” – Sebastian Horsley. 

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Count how much money you have in your pocket then calculate the chances of living long enough to spend it.


23. I love Sebastian Horsley. He was such a dear friend and like all my dear friends I lose them. I hope not carelessly. 

R.I.P


24. I love going to other town bars a few miles away. The anonymity is thrilling. It is like a cloak of invisibility. I can sit alone in public, my name is not shouted at me. I am reborn nameless. I could try flip flops.

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Do voyeurs like to be watched?

 

 

25. I love listening to film soundtracks on earbuds. The world is transformed. Crossing a road can become portentous, silly, ecstatic, deadly, pointless, but it is never just crossing the road.

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“I’m using the chicken measure it”