Time For Insomnia

Some nights, especially when its hot, I can’t sleep. So, I pick up an iPad, no no not that, and I start trawling through ebay without any intention to buy anything, I simply gaze in bewilderment. I do this sometimes for hours until I am hypnotised by the sheer vastness of it. So much stuff, and all of it destined for landfill. How awful, how does that help me sleep? I am not certain but just thinking about each item for a few seconds and pondering why it exists slowly wears down my mind and I slip into a coma, just like watching the news with the sound off.

So then, here for you delectation is another small selection of soporific books and Cd’s that have stood out for their dizzying powers as part of my sleep aid.


Don’t forget your toothbrush, 

bible, mosquito net, blunderbuss


  Looking at those trees behind him I think he should start to worry a lot 
  about ecology 



 Toff Gun?

A season to discover and kill? This is an example of why the English are loved 

and vehemently hated


  This CD title is one of the worst puns since … Toff Gun
 What on earth is going on here?



Cut out the middleman and toss this compacted pulp straight back on the compost


 For some reason this makes feel rather sad. Has the father died. Is it he, Ben Hatch, taking the picture? Or, is the mother, Dinah Hatch, now with a woman who is taking the picture? Is it just a professional set up, are they all actors set against a Green Screen in a sterile studio? 
 There’s too much to think about and I’m getting woozy. Whatever it is I can’t look at it without a sinking sense of melancholy

This is more of the same. 
 This one makes me blissfully aware that I have no children. I’d rather be dead than wear those clothes. Looking at that chap’s expression I’d suggest he’s thinking the same




This looks to me like pure filth
 Shame on you Keith Waterhouse (Dead writer & Soho Soak)


 50 Shades of wrong here. What on earth is this picture trying to convey? Perhaps that she is hundreds of miles away from a television and wishes to discover one nearby to study? Is she in an amature dramatic group adaptation of Nicolas Roeg’s film Walkabout? No, it is of course just a typical gratuitous shot. Given the book’s subject, and that it comes from the BFI, you’d think they’d be fully aware that this cover image is ridiculously irrelevant

 Nighty night sleep tight