Mice & Menus

Whilst having a spot of light lunch yesterday I couldn’t help but admire this questionable choice of photo for a place that serves food. The rodents pictured are from the Tio Pepe Sherry bodega which has been serving generations of mice a glass a day for over a century, the kind workers of Gonzales Byass have even provided their furtive freinds with a little access ladder. I was told by the waiter that the practice has now been stopped due to EU health regulations: How many units are Mice allowed? I asked. 

Britain’s rats are awaiting the announcement of a No Deal Brexit, then the Tennent’s Super swilling drunken bastards will go on the rampage bringing back the good’olde worlde Black Death, probably.




Time Out Of Mind


In the coming months of isolation in the bleak midwinter of our discontent we may be seeking a little comfort


I offer you my dear reader a few hand picked but questionable items to tickle your fancies

First off then and

sorry vegans but it’s …



 After a few weeks indulging in the above one may wish to start feasting famously on 6 Soups a day to slim?

Go Elvis

When is a cocktail not a cocktail?
The answer is here 


 But surely there’s a Lighter Thingy than this?

It doesn’t even say what it is anymore



Back to the comfort food with a discomforting name

(Fatness Fast in 30 Seconds)


Too much pud?
Try this stuff from a Cowshed

The words Mother and Cow together

Is that right?


Ok maybe try this one instead as it says it’s Really Good

If you want something cheaper get some Reasonably Good

 Look out The Pun Genius is about

Oat dear!



Now where I’m from your Nads are your gonads

Looks like they got waxed completely off

I’m not going there 


I don’t want any nads up my nose thanks 

I particularly like the reassurance that 9/10 people find it painless

You know you’re special

You’re the One baby!


You must read closely what it says on this product

 Talk to your baby about green spots

Hopefully not the ones on the baby

 Do you have a cat that can’t be arsed?

I thought that was normal 

So did my cat


 Is this for real?

‘Tis The Pun Genius flogging to death his tired and tawdry trade




This product is for you to imagine

Something to do init?


 Well that’s it for now. A semi lockdown, not a euphemism, is in place in Andalusia so I expect to be at home more, so beware. I may attempt faster updates on the non goings on in my world

Hope it’s not too horrid in your world

Poor Bugger


I spotted this lost soul begging for love in the street

I took a photo and walked on, then stopped. I just couldn’t leave him there

He has been washed and is now having a siesta on a cushion with the cats, who have embraced him as a member of their dastardly clan


Prison Cat Dummy Prank

The Lockdown has proved too much for one of the cats. He’s gone stir crazy.

I came home from a bar and thought this was Muffin MacNasty dozing in his usual place.

 Suddenly I was startled by Muffin’s growl behind me. 

The litte bugger had played a trick on me. Like a prisoner creating a deception dummy to fool the guard, he had fashioned his comfort blanket into a MacNasty Alike.

Here he is moments later tittering at me

He he ha ha Cat Humour eh?



Coping With Pandemic Stress In Andalusia

These two chaps eat, and I am certain drink, at this bar every day, culminating in this charming composition. They seem somewhat unperturbed by all the Going’s On. 

Personally I am getting through this afternoon listening to South Korean psychedelic music from 1958 to 1978 accompanied by Rum Daiquiris and Cuban cigars. I hope to reach a similar nirvana.



Apologies my dears I’ve been slack on the posts. I’ve not been busy, I’ve just been sodding about, and sodden.

Here are a couple of the chairs nearly finished. I shall attempt better photographs when they are done. 




Postcards From The Dead

Sebastian Horsley was a friend. He died 10 years ago tomorrow. I found this postcard a few days ago. I had used it as a bookmark, but not in his book: Dandy In The Underworld. Now it’s perhaps a Coda. He was a witty and mischievous soul, I loved him. I still, at times, wish he was playing a prank on us all. 

Isn’t this one of those moments when we have to entertain the notion of the dead communicating with us – Gustav Temple (Chap Magazine).


Self Portait

On a rare recent outing to get supplies of Rum And Cuban Cigars on Calle Paul (Paul Street) I saw this totem unto I. An ancient custom here is never to walk past a bus stop with your name on it without taking a photograph, or catching the next bus.