Donald Trump is to host his own TV show “The Great Mexican Bake Off.”
In the controversial new program contestants are asked to bake as many meatloaf bricks as it is possible within the first half of the show, then within the remaining time they must butter-ice as many meatloaves together in order to build a section of Trump's “Great Mexican Border Bakeoff Wall.”
Trump said: “It won't take anytime at all to build the wall and it's hugely entertaining for American and Afro-American families that like to watch the TV.”
Critics suggest however that Trump may have his math “Totally way out of freakin' whack.”
TV Baking experts Mel & Sue predict that: “The series would have to run for at least seven and a half thousand seasons to complete the gastronomic monstrosity, by which time it would almost certainly have been eaten by criminals, killers and rapists on both sides of the border, yummy.”
If you insist on buying things then you might as well get one of these
A shitting Trump figure for your child's miniature Nativity Scene
He's taking a morning constitutional on the Constitution.
The Catalonian Caganer is one of the world's most unique Christmas Traditions. Also known as “the pooping shepherd,” the Caganer is an earthy figure, depicted as he is engaged in the most mundane of human tasks. Caganers are traditionally tucked away in the back of Catalan nativity scenes, and finding them is a favorite pastime of children. Although a centuries-old tradition, recently Caganers have grown in popularity, with figures of political, sporting and entertainment personalities available in Spain and throughout Europe. Caganer Shop was created to bring Caganers to the people of the United States and the rest of the world.
Trumpton was a children's series of the late 60's but it is probably still being broadcast to this day.
The action takes place in the imaginary town of Trumpton. Each episode begins with a shot of Trumpton Town Hall Clock.
“Here is the clock, the Trumpton clock. Telling the time, steadily, sensibly; never too quickly, never too slowly. Telling the time for Trumpton.”
Sam Mendes, the British film-maker behind Skyfall and Spectre, has done his best to quash rumours that the race to be the next 007 is done and dusted.
Earlier this month most bookmakers suspended betting on the candidates, following a series of large bets on toff tosser Boris Johnson.
But Mendes believes that fans will be “Well fucking surprised” when the new Bond is announced.
I had been drinking heavily, Photoshop was just there open in front of me, I had no choice Mr President.