On The Lamb


For those of you that don’t know, or care, or likely both: On the lam means “running away”

Don’t ask why, as nobody knows


On my way home from a late session at a bar I saw in the distance what looked like … what I thought to be an indescribable thing. Was it a dead dog? A drunken reveller in fancy dress? As I teetered nervously towards the thing it became abundantly clear. 


A pair of exceptionally stoned teenage boys I had passed earlier shuffled down towards the scene. As they approached I gestured up at the dark sky indicating the possible journey this object may have taken to arrive here. We looked at the stars for a fleeting moment … then instead of getting out their phones to film it, they began stroking it affectionately.


It was far too heavy for us to lift so we all went our separate ways, not the Sheep though. 

 Baaaahhhh Humbug

 The next day at the Nativity it was back in place. It looked like it had a bit of a night of it but was at least at work on time. All’s well that ends …


 But then on Monday I noticed the absence again



Then by Tuesday matters had taken a turn for the worse


Fear and loathing in a Manger 

 Then on Wednesday I saw this article


The above idea seems more like an anti-vax campaign, the implication being: Only Sheep Follow Rules. I do hope the poor thing makes it back eventually or I’ll have nothing more to say on the matter

Still Using The Chicken To Measure It? Try This Instead

I was idling my life away looking at stuff on the World Wide Wasteland when I came across some tiny lambs being used to give a sense of the proportionate size of some patterned fabric up for sale (Pictures Below). Despite there being a wooden ruler as a guide I can’t work out the size of these little fleece balls, and they’re not even included in the purchase. I need answers, but I’m now too ashamed to ask. I’m also not really sure if I care about them anymore. Then suddenly I remembered a Frank Zappa film that makes more, or even less sense of my dilemma, see this micro clip.