6. I love re-stringing my guitars. They jingle jangle with the promise of musical gold. Then I don't touch them for weeks because they's got a bad soul on the mofo tuning!
7. I love making pesto. There's so much basil crawling about here I feel compelled to make tons of the stuff. Then I quickly get sick of it. Most of it is given to friends to throw in their bins.
8. I love smelly unctuous French cheeses. I can never sleep afterwards. When I turn out the lights I can actually hear the cholesterol rumbling through my arteries like I'm trying to doze on the London Circle Line.
9. I love oysters. I only like eating them raw. It's Russian roulette with bivalve molluscs.
One day one of these fuckers is going to kill me but the thrill of it seems worth it. That which does not kill us makes us upchuck.
10. I love red wine but I cannot for the life of me remember the name of a single red wine that I could purchase 100% certain in the knowledge that I had tried it before and liked it. I am almost always disappointedly wrong.
I have been eating out and in Andalusia Spain, a lot. It is not the greatest place on earth to be a vegetarian, I imagine that place to be devoid of a single living creature to slaughter. I'm not even considering being a vegetarian, so I don't know why I am going to keep mentioning them.
Why don't we make meat look like vegetables?
If you wish to be assured a lengthy and healthy life you should become a vegetable in Andalusia, you’d be completely unfettered here. This is a haven for those who like to kill and eat an entire pig in one sitting, and why not? There is little else better to do in the long restful hours between breakfast and dinner.
Here my friend Antonio tucks into his luncheon
I know a chap in Barcelona, Oli Max (Renaissance Drinker) who's epically long lunches verge on Dangerous Sport, he and Dorian Crook (Comedic Vegetarian) have monikered their gastronomic marathon with the term “Extreme Lunching.”
Why drop out of an aeroplane when you can drop into a restaurant?
Andalusia produces incredibly lively cheeses, aged in olive oil that the carnivore might consider as a meat substitute.
I do think we should consider fashioning cheese into the shape of some sort of animal carcass