26. I love not having or owning children.
It was a choice I made early. The world doesn’t need another Half Of ME.
Oddly, people always asume it was a choice and not the consequence of something else.
I have never been asked about my fertility. I’ll never know the answer.
So, I’m only responsible for myself and everything I say and do to the entire world.
27. I love shopping alphabetically. Food shopping can get dull.
So this week I am only buying things that start with the letter A.
You can lose weight on some letters.
I also do it by packaging. Next week only tins, mnnn.
28. I love having my head scratched.
Fingernails comb my brain stems into flowing streams of enlightened consciousness.
I think pets are onto something.
29. I love Custard. Not to eat, you crazy fools. I like playing with it. You get a bowl of the powder then add small amounts of water until is a very thick mud. Then you scoop some out and squeeze it. It magically turns into a solid. Then as you let it go it returns to a liquid, you can have hours of stoner fun.
Try it in wanky restaurants.
30. I love looking for things to put in the Trash on my computer.
After a good forage I hit the empty Trash button and I feel as if I have lifted a small burden from the world’s digital shoulders.
Despite billions of dollars being spent to create English language versions of computer operating shitstems we still have American Trash instead of English Rubbish.
Shovel this down your gullet you plonker