Time Out Of Mind

 

In the coming months of isolation in the bleak midwinter of our discontent we may be seeking a little comfort

 

I offer you my dear reader a few hand picked but questionable items to tickle your fancies

First off then and

sorry vegans but it’s …

 

 

 After a few weeks indulging in the above one may wish to start feasting famously on 6 Soups a day to slim?

Go Elvis

When is a cocktail not a cocktail?
The answer is here 

 

 But surely there’s a Lighter Thingy than this?

It doesn’t even say what it is anymore

 

 

Back to the comfort food with a discomforting name

(Fatness Fast in 30 Seconds)

 

Too much pud?
Try this stuff from a Cowshed

The words Mother and Cow together

Is that right?

 

Ok maybe try this one instead as it says it’s Really Good

If you want something cheaper get some Reasonably Good

 Look out The Pun Genius is about

Oat dear!

 

 

Now where I’m from your Nads are your gonads

Looks like they got waxed completely off

I’m not going there 

 

I don’t want any nads up my nose thanks 

I particularly like the reassurance that 9/10 people find it painless

You know you’re special

You’re the One baby!

 

You must read closely what it says on this product

 Talk to your baby about green spots

Hopefully not the ones on the baby

 Do you have a cat that can’t be arsed?

I thought that was normal 

So did my cat

 

 Is this for real?

‘Tis The Pun Genius flogging to death his tired and tawdry trade

 

 

 

This product is for you to imagine

Something to do init?

 

 

 Well that’s it for now. A semi lockdown, not a euphemism, is in place in Andalusia so I expect to be at home more, so beware. I may attempt faster updates on the non goings on in my world

Hope it’s not too horrid in your world

Cheapest Drug On The Market?

I seem to remember being told that if one drank seawater one went insane, then again if one is enjoying drinking seawater one is probably already half way there. I am not going to Google what the effects of seawater are, as Google tends to replace conversation with dull facts.

Here therefore is a beer I had to try. I had it with Oysters, filled with more seawater. Yesterday I had a few more bottles, they make you thirsty. I think I may be heading off to the beach with a bucket and pint glass.

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100 Things I Love (Part 3)

 

11. I love stopping YouTube videos then shutting down my computer and leaving the house before the person in the video opens their mouth to start speaking or singing, just because I don't like the look of them.

I wish the real world had a similar facility that did not involve violence.

 

12. I love hearing that people who do things like climb mountains, or enjoy extreme sports, have killed themselves without endangering any rescuers or wasting the time of local medical services. Fuck those selfish bastards.

Rigor Mortis?

 

13. I love hearing my cats finally giving up whining and scratching at the bedroom door, as they finally realise once again that I am never, ever, ever, going to let them in, no matter what they want. Unless they are trying to tell me the house is on fire.

Look the kittie's head splits apart and then flames come shooting out. That's not right surely?

14. I love finding a secret beer stashed at the back of the fridge when I think we have no beer left and that I'll be forced to go out into the hot sun without having had a beer before going out to get more beer.

Pictured is an example, not actual product or my fridge.

 

15. I love the pitter patter of rain on windows. However in Andalusia when it rains it's like being trapped in a 40ft empty freight container left inside a Car Wash for a week, or living nextdoor to Enya.

 

 

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Chickens Miguel Of Cryogenic Beer

I've been offline for quite a while so apologies for lack of postals. Here then is local hero bar owner and roaster of highly aromatic chicken, Chicken's Miguel. He has also mastered the art of creating sub zero bottled beer that is not frozen on the inside, and you can see that he is rather proud of his achievement. If you look at the calendar behind him he has thoughtfully nailed a rubber chicken on to it, which is nice. Observe additionally the curvature of his torso reflected upon the counter.