I was moved yesterday by this photograph taken by the Caregiver of a British infant school-goer. It is a Still Life Image of the child’s Post-Brexit Regulation Christmas School Luncheon, £3.49. It immediately inspired me, I thought to myself, surely this Happy Holiday Season would be the perfect time to introduce the uninitiated Gastrophiles of Europe to true British Fare? I’d wager that by this morning it will already be sited by East London’s ironic anaemic hipster fraternity as “A Stone Cold Classic.” However, I’m yet to be convinced that Badger penis is traditional, but fair enough, due to the current shortage of HGV drivers one has to improvise ways of culling the flea ridden buggers; using Uber Taxis, Narwhal Tusks, etc … and it is important of course that we be environmentally responsible and thus redistribute the bTB infected body-parts of these monochomatic pests so as to benefit the UKKKip Nation’s starving children.

Keeping An Eye On The Pies x